The Books of Our Lives: A Stack of Reads for New Grads

I remember when my grandson was born; I showered him with books. Yes, he was maybe two hours old, but there were books I needed him to have: A Hole Is to Dig, the Edward Eager mysteries, Winnie-the-Pooh, the Narnia residents, The Snowy Day, The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics by the late Norton Juster, Many Moons and The Complete Sherlock Holmes. (My husband chuckled at me and said, “Make sure you include Horatio Hornblower.”)

I remember feeling that it was my responsibility to make sure that whenever he was ready for them, those books would be there  — those necessary books  — or maybe, more honestly, my necessary books.

Now he has graduated high school and is going off to college, a reality so full of emotion that I am not sure there’s a word for it. But my instinct, again, is to load him up with books, to make sure that when he is ready for them they will be there. (I know, the last thing he needs going off to college is books. But maybe … he does.)

I started listing them and each one seemed so obvious to me. I will admit I didn’t want to overthink it. I wanted to put myself in a cosmic bookstore where any book I wanted could appear. 

But then I wondered what you all would say during this chaotic and unprecedented and brave new graduation season when so many students are opening new doors. What do they need to read that they don’t even know they need to read? What can we offer them? We can offer them the books that changed our lives. 

So, I asked some pals and gorgeously, fascinatingly, not one of the people I asked mentioned any of the same books. Isn’t that great?

I’ll list mine at the end, but first, here’s what some of them said. Remember, these are not the best books of all times that everyone must read. They’re simply the books we’d offer. (Shakespeare doesn’t count … that’s too basic.)

Sadeqa Johnson: Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler, because I think she’s a genius. That was the first book by her that I read, and I remember it taking my breath away. I hope it will do the same for them. 

Brian Andrews: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. Self-help has been stigmatized as something that only failures and depressed adults flock to, but Jen flips the genre on its head by reframing it in terms of self-empowerment. Success begins with believing in yourself.

Weina Dai Randel: The Golem and the Jinni: A Novel by Helene Wecker. I love this book so much. It’s rich with references to folktales, with a touch of loyalty, love, the plight of immigrants, and the danger of ambition.

Amy Impellizzieri: Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein because this fabulous book contains advice, humor, poignancy and profound truths all wrapped up in outrageously accessible poems. 

Dana Issacson: I’m going with Jack Kerouac’s On the Road. I like to encourage rebellion, non-conformity and travel in the next generation. 

Julie Perkins Cantrell: Ann Patchett’s What Now? It’s based on a commencement speech she once gave. It’s a positive message about how life probably won’t take them where they think it will.

Paula Munier: Neil Gaiman’s Make Good Art, a pretty little hardcover based on the commencement address Gaiman gave at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts. It’s a call to arms of sorts, encouraging us all to break the rules, think outside the box, and be brave to “make good art.”

You’ve got to love how different they all are! Here are mine:

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values by Robert M. Pirsig, because attention to detail and mindfulness will help you in every part of your life.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, because we are all fish out of water entering a new and mysterious world; and people are not what they seem.

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd: A Hercule Poirot Mystery by Agatha Christie, because life is a mystery and you’re never quite sure what the end of every story will be. You may be surprised. 

Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens, because perseverance and humor and relationships — and good storytelling — are timeless.

Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe, because it’s okay to be nostalgic and sentimental and lush and gorgeous.

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison: This explores identity and truth and perspective. Who are we to ourselves and to each other? I read this maybe fifty years ago. I still think of it.

The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton, because some may call it selfish power-mad ambition, and others may call it — ambition. Undine Spragg? There’s no one like her. Maybe.

Dreyer’s English: An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style by Benjamin Dreyer, because you need to know everything in this book in order to be a civilized human being.

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King, because inspiration comes from places you must explore on your own, and our imaginations and creativity are astonishingly powerful. Writing is difficult and wonderful.

The Winds of War by Herman Wouk, because times were different and the same, and everyone is fighting a difficult battle.

Winter’s Tale by Mark Helprin, because love and joy and journalism and truth and a crazy wild tale that makes no sense and all the sense in the world … is a good thing to read.

Joy of Cooking by Irma Rombauer or How to Cook Everything: Simple Recipes for Great Food by Mark Bittman, because you need to know the basics of cooking for gosh sake. These books only come to life after their pages are splotched with soy sauce and tomato paste and wine. 

Sometimes there are books that change our lives. We cannot predict when we will receive them, or which ones will make a difference. As a reader and a writer, I offer books as gifts, hoping they are like an open door. The recipient can walk through if and when they want to, and I hope they will find the same joy I did … and then find their own. 

Happy graduation to all.

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