Maya M. Thomas faced a tremendously heartbreaking and difficult situation at the vulnerable age of sixteen, and her battle is long from won. She was a pregnant teenager with a quintessentially disapproving family steeped in religious and social concerns about what this meant for not only her, but for them and their future. She’s also black.
Her experience is recounted in her concise but compelling memoir Coping With Adoption (Lincross Publishing Company.) The journey was full of highs and lows, light and darkness, with a rollercoaster of emotions that took time to untangle. In the end, in spite of “coping,” Thomas found ways to live. The best part is that she didn’t just live for herself; she heard a calling to make some change for the better in the lives of those who suffer like she has.
The author and creator of Maya’s Empowerment Center had a few more things to tell us that deepen our understanding of the book. To learn more about her work, read our review of Coping With Adoption here.
Q: In your author bio, you describe your writing journey as “no walk in the park.” What were the biggest challenges you faced in the process of this book?
A: One of the challenges I faced while writing my book was the fear of what people would think about my story. For the longest time I struggled with shame, so that was always on my mind while writing. Another major challenge for me was facing my past as an adult and as an author. I had accepted that writing about my journey would not be easy, but I did not realize it would be painful and purifying all at the same time: painful because I had to come to terms with the reality that I did something I did not want to do; purifying because I did a lot of crying and releasing thoughts I never said out loud to anyone. As an adult it is even more clear that I had a voice but was afraid to stand up for myself.
Q: Putting yourself and your story out into the world takes courage. What kind of reaction have you gotten from both the people you know and people you’ve never met?
A: It was hard to be so transparent about my story, but I knew it had to be done. I have received different reactions across the board. Some of the people I know were in shock that I told my story in a book, and others I know were anxious to hear the responses from my family. The reactions I have heard from strangers, meanwhile, have been mind-blowing. Some have told me thank you for standing in my truth and being authentic. Others have said they never knew black women or black families go through these things. Regardless of any of the reactions I am glad that someone will read it and know they are not alone.
Q: When you revealed to your family that you were pregnant, it seems like their reactions to your situation were driven by a sense of their own shame and fear: and that shame and fear may also have prevented you from making your own decisions. What would you have told your younger self had you had the ability to talk to her?
A: Yes, my family’s shame and fear did play a role in making me feel like I was not good enough or strong enough to make my own decision. If I could talk to my younger self I would tell her not to live her life based on other people’s fears. I would also tell her that self-love is the best love. Do not ever feel that you have to diminish who you are, or what you think is right, to be accepted. I would also say to her that validating others by means of accepting the pain they project onto you from their own hurt does not aid in healing. Lastly, I would tell her that being authentic and transparent does not mean you are weak, it means you are self-aware and human.
Q: You published your book in November of last year. Do you have any updates on the situation with your son that you’d like to share with us?
A: Not much has changed since the publication of my book. I am still unable to visit or communicate with my son. Since it was revealed to him that I am his mother, the family that has him has distanced themselves from me. I pray every day that one day we will be reunited.
Q: As a result of your experiences, you’ve given back to others in similar situations by creating a donation drive for baby shower basket items. Can you tell us a little more about this project?
A: My baby shower gifting packages were created from the lack of support I had while pregnant. I always wanted to help others and I realized that this was my way to do it. How it works is that I have brand new essential baby items: car seats, diapers, breast pumps, etc that I donate to mothers based on their situation. I have them upload a video or personal information to my website to give me more insight about their personal struggle. I have been able to donate to mostly all the moms who reach out to me. I have helped moms in Alabama, New York, Pennsylvania and California just to name a few. This project falls under Maya’s Empowerment Center, which was created to support and encourage those in need. I am giving back to others as a way to show that I see and hear those who feel overlooked.
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About Maya M. Thomas:
Maya M. Thomas is not only an author but also a mother and entrepreneur, constantly evolving and embracing her purpose. Maya’s journey to becoming an author was no walk in the park, but she worked through the challenges. Connecting with others through her story is Maya’s passion. Every person that she touches and inspires ignites the fire in her heart and brings her closer to healing, restoration and wholeness. She has two daughters — and one son.
