Packing for Heaven by Debra Delp
Everyone remembers exactly where they were and how they felt when two airplanes crashed into the Twin Towers, creating total chaos in New York City and costing 2,900 lives.
While processing all the information and emotions, a thought occurred to me like it no doubt occurred to millions of others – how do I explain this to a young child, the actions and the deaths?
A BOOK TO GUIDE CHILDREN THROUGH THEIR GRIEF
Debra Delp says she felt a sense of inadequacy and unpreparedness in helping her own sons deal with an earlier tragedy in their lives. It was then that she decided to write a story that would appeal to both children and adults and give comfort to those who had sustained a loss.
The result is Packing for Heaven (Tower Hill Press), a touching short story and adult guide for assisting children through the grieving process.
The book tells the poignant tale of Casey, a youngster coming to terms with his own impending death. It focuses on the difficulties for both child and parent and tries to set a positive tone in the face of terrible circumstances.
The story is offered as a tool when helping elementary school children deal with a recent loss and when their secure, predictable world is turned upside down.
The key for parents is to discuss death calmly and openly and listen carefully and sensitively to their children. This will ‘allow the child to grieve the loss and begin to realize that death is part of the mystery of life,’ according to Delp.
A GENTLE RESOURCE FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The book provides guidance in helping parents introduce the story, read the story and discuss the story. It provides a series of questions to help children discover feelings for themselves – are you sad, sacred, lonely, mad? Do you have any thoughts on what you’d like to say to your departed friend?
The book also provides follow-up activities.
In the story, as Casey leaves the hospital to go home, and he can’t see the tears in his mother’s eyes. But he is able to put a positive spin even on his lengthy hospital stay: “The nurses were nice; the lady in pink brought me comic books; the doctors helped me a lot. It was like having another family at the hospital. We learned to feel sad and glad together. When you’re very sick, it helps to share your feelings with friends.”
Casey’s mom introduces the subject of Heaven, explaining that it is “a nice place to go when you leave this life.” Such conversation is soothing to Casey – he wonders how soon he will be going there and if he will like it.
A LESSON IN VALUING MEMORIES OVER POSSESSIONS
The child starts gathering all his favorite toys, clothes and possessions as he “packs” for his trip to Heaven. While his mother brushes away tears, she can see how her child is preparing.
She tells him the story of being at the hospital when Casey was born, essentially leaving one place and entering a strange new world. Now, once again he will be entering a new world.
As it turns out, Casey stops packing tangible items and instead decides to “pack” all his fond memories – “all my memories of having fun, sharing, helping and feeling happy, proud and loved.”
“Good memories are the best things to pack when you’re going to a new place,” Casey says.
“I hope this book is seen as a compassionate story that moves people through the sadness of grief to acceptance of loss via pleasant thoughts and fond memories,” says Delp. “Bittersweet as it may be, I believe an honest facing of death provides us with a realization of the true value of life.”
About Debra Delp:
Debra Delp is the author of Packing for Heaven and currently lives in Myrtle Beach, SC. She still works part-time as a Nurse for McLeod and loves it. She enjoys the beach, golf, walking her Black Lab named Bubba, running, working out, traveling and spending time with family and friends. Sharing her book with those it can help is her passion.