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H Is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald
The Light of Ishtar: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Search for Meaning by Said Elias Dawlabani
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön
Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield
Breaking Sad by Shelly Fisher and Jennifer Jones

Grief certainly isn’t pleasant, but it is something that most of us will have to confront at one point or another. So, when loss inevitably comes knocking at our door, these books, each unique in its approach to the subject, may offer some amount of comfort. Furthermore, if each of us is fated to endure loss, we’re likely to find ourselves in the company of someone else during times of grief. In those moments, met not by our own sorrow but, instead, a desire to offer support to another person in the thick of things, we may find it useful to pass along the advice from someone with firsthand experience. 

While these five books discuss loss, you don’t have to have experienced or be experiencing a loss of your own to learn from them. These authors’ writings explore the myriad of emotions related to loss, yes, but their varied experiences and approaches offer moments of humor, love, comfort and much more along the way.

 width=H Is for Hawk
by Helen Macdonald

Faced with the sudden death of her photojournalist father, Helen Macdonald, a writer, naturalist, and historian of science, decides to revisit her childhood dream of becoming a falconer. Grief-stricken, she sets out to train a goshawk, a much “bigger … bulkier, bloodier, deadlier, scarier” type of hawk than most others and a lot harder to tame, too. It won’t come as a surprise to learn that raising a goshawk for falconry does not rank high on anyone’s list of therapeutic activities for the bereft, including Macdonald’s. Nevertheless, she purchases Mabel, bringing the wild bird to her home in Cambridge where she begins her efforts to train it.

While she wrestles with two monumental tasks — taming one of the wildest animals and reconciling with the loss of her father — Macdonald compares her own experiences to those of famed Arthurian novelist T.H. White, best known for The Once and Future King, who raised a goshawk himself in the mid-1930s, albeit without much success. “If this was only a nature book, it would be a classic,” says one reviewer. “Yet it is also a profound meditation on grief and recovery.” A Costa Book of the Year and winner of the Samuel Johnson Prize, Macdonald’s memoir, with its beautiful, metaphor-laden prose, leaves readers breathless.

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 width=The Light of Ishtar: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Search for Meaning
by Said Elias Dawlabani

Like the ancient Mesopotamian goddess Ishtar, Elza Maalouf is a warrior, but unlike a goddess, she is only mortal. Born in Zahle, Lebanon, Elza was one of many women subjected to an overbearing, patriarchal society, but she endeavored to become a champion for cultural and political reform, as well as women’s rights, across the Middle East. Her story, told here by her loving husband, is by turns triumphant and devastating as her brilliant mind falls into the cruel grasp of dementia.

Immortalizing the woman he knew before a neurodegenerative disease forever changed both of their lives, Dawlabani explores his own grief, mourning the loss of his wife’s soul, mind and spirit although she remains physically present. In crafting this poignant tale, Dawlabani incorporates passages from Elza’s journals and unpublished memoir alongside his own words, offering a varied perspective that deepens the reader’s empathy for both author and subject. Dawlabani also reflects on his own spiritual journey and work in economics, and he introduces readers to Integral Theory and Spiral Dynamics, ideas through which Elza and her colleagues approached humanitarian issues.

With references to mythological figures framing the story and aiding Dawlabani’s exploration of life, love and loss, The Light of Ishtar lingers in its reader’s mind long after it’s finished. (Read our review here.)

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | IndieBound | Bookshop

 width=When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chödrön

If the spiritual aspects of the previous book appeal to you, then this next one should as well. Written by an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, Publishers Weekly equates When Things Fall Apart to Harold Kushner’s famous book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People — because no matter what corner of the globe you occupy, life rarely goes according to plan. In it, Chödrön presents a series of her lectures, given between 1987 and 1994, and encourages readers to accept the reality of loss — certainly not an easy task, but one that, as she explains, offers great potential for healing. 

However, the advice within this book extends well beyond grief. Although one of the more difficult and emotionally-wrought experiences one will face in life, coping with the loss of a loved one is far from the only “difficult time” in anyone’s past or future. This spiritual guide urges its readers not to run from any variety of uncomfortable or even painful experiences they may encounter, because these moments have important lessons to impart. In fact, running away proves rather useless as Chödrön contends, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” Exploring meditation as a practice in compassion and welcoming chaos, any reader, even those unfamiliar with Buddhist philosophy, will find this wisdom hearting.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | IndieBound | Bookshop

 width=Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time
by Rob Sheffield

“Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they add up to the story of life.”

Here we have another loving tribute from a husband to his wife. This couple, however, bonded over a shared passion for music. In his memoir, Rob Sheffield, a music journalist and contributing editor at Rolling Stone, explores his relationship with his wife, Renee, who died unexpectedly at age 31. They’d been married just five years. Guiding readers through their shared collection of mix tapes, Sheffield reveals how he, a “shy, skinny, Irish Catholic geek from Boston,” met and fell in love with the “cool hell-raising Appalachian punk-rock chick.”

Sheffield writes of his grief, as well as the anxiety and depression that followed, honestly and with a lot of heart, but this mix tape-inspired book offers humorous and joyful tracks along with its sad songs. Featuring artists with wide-appeal like The Rolling Stones, The Beatles and Aretha Franklin, in addition to those contemporary artists from Sheffield’s youth — Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Pavement, Yo La Tengo, REM and Weezer — readers will no doubt find this emotional memoir a nostalgic read. Because beneath everything else, it’s a bittersweet, opposites-attract love story with its own unique and very 90s soundtrack.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | IndieBound | Bookshop

 width=Breaking Sad
edited by Shelly Fisher and Jennifer Jones

Grief isn’t an emotion limited to death, because loss happens outside of death, too. The two are not mutually exclusive. People can grieve many different kinds of losses: the loss of a loved one, sure, but also the loss of health, the loss of a job, the loss of friendship. No matter what the particular situation may be, it’s difficult to know what to say to someone who has suffered a loss — or what not to say to them. This book is geared not toward the grieving, although they would no doubt find comfort within its pages, but towards those looking for the right words and actions to support their loved ones in times of grief. 

Shelly Fisher and Jennifer Jones have gathered the touching stories and heartfelt advice from those who have experienced loss across a spectrum of circumstances. Whether the loss is new, sudden, complex, unacknowledged or suffered at a tender age, the contributors of Breaking Sad share the best and worst things people said or did while experiencing loss. They also offer advice to both those going through a similar experience as well as those wanting to support a grieving person. Many self-help books exist for the former; here’s a helpful guide for the latter.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | IndieBound | Bookshop

H Is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald

H Is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald

Faced with the sudden death of her photojournalist father, Helen Macdonald, a writer, naturalist, and historian of science, decides to revisit her childhood dream of becoming a falconer. Grief-stricken, she sets out to train a goshawk, a much “bigger … bulkier, bloodier, deadlier, scarier” type of hawk than most others and a lot harder to tame, too. It won’t come as a surprise to learn that raising a goshawk for falconry does not rank high on anyone’s list of therapeutic activities for the bereft, including Macdonald’s. Nevertheless, she purchases Mabel, bringing the wild bird to her home in Cambridge where she begins her efforts to train it.

While she wrestles with two monumental tasks — taming one of the wildest animals and reconciling with the loss of her father — Macdonald compares her own experiences to those of famed Arthurian novelist T.H. White, best known for The Once and Future King, who raised a goshawk himself in the mid-1930s, albeit without much success. “If this was only a nature book, it would be a classic,” says one reviewer. “Yet it is also a profound meditation on grief and recovery.” A Costa Book of the Year and winner of the Samuel Johnson Prize, Macdonald’s memoir, with its beautiful, metaphor-laden prose, leaves readers breathless.


The Light of Ishtar: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Search for Meaning by Said Elias Dawlabani

The Light of Ishtar: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Search for Meaning by Said Elias Dawlabani

Like the ancient Mesopotamian goddess Ishtar, Elza Maalouf is a warrior, but unlike a goddess, she is only mortal. Born in Zahle, Lebanon, Elza was one of many women subjected to an overbearing, patriarchal society, but she endeavored to become a champion for cultural and political reform, as well as women’s rights, across the Middle East. Her story, told here by her loving husband, is by turns triumphant and devastating as her brilliant mind falls into the cruel grasp of dementia.

Immortalizing the woman he knew before a neurodegenerative disease forever changed both of their lives, Dawlabani explores his own grief, mourning the loss of his wife’s soul, mind and spirit although she remains physically present. In crafting this poignant tale, Dawlabani incorporates passages from Elza’s journals and unpublished memoir alongside his own words, offering a varied perspective that deepens the reader’s empathy for both author and subject. Dawlabani also reflects on his own spiritual journey and work in economics, and he introduces readers to Integral Theory and Spiral Dynamics, ideas through which Elza and her colleagues approached humanitarian issues.

With references to mythological figures framing the story and aiding Dawlabani’s exploration of life, love and loss, The Light of Ishtar lingers in its reader’s mind long after it’s finished. (Read our review here.)


When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön

If the spiritual aspects of the previous book appeal to you, then this next one should as well. Written by an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, Publishers Weekly equates When Things Fall Apart to Harold Kushner’s famous book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People — because no matter what corner of the globe you occupy, life rarely goes according to plan. In it, Chödrön presents a series of her lectures, given between 1987 and 1994, and encourages readers to accept the reality of loss — certainly not an easy task, but one that, as she explains, offers great potential for healing. 

However, the advice within this book extends well beyond grief. Although one of the more difficult and emotionally-wrought experiences one will face in life, coping with the loss of a loved one is far from the only “difficult time” in anyone’s past or future. This spiritual guide urges its readers not to run from any variety of uncomfortable or even painful experiences they may encounter, because these moments have important lessons to impart. In fact, running away proves rather useless as Chödrön contends, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” Exploring meditation as a practice in compassion and welcoming chaos, any reader, even those unfamiliar with Buddhist philosophy, will find this wisdom hearting.


Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield

Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield

“Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they add up to the story of life.”

Here we have another loving tribute from a husband to his wife. This couple, however, bonded over a shared passion for music. In his memoir, Rob Sheffield, a music journalist and contributing editor at Rolling Stone, explores his relationship with his wife, Renee, who died unexpectedly at age 31. They’d been married just five years. Guiding readers through their shared collection of mix tapes, Sheffield reveals how he, a “shy, skinny, Irish Catholic geek from Boston,” met and fell in love with the “cool hell-raising Appalachian punk-rock chick.”

Sheffield writes of his grief, as well as the anxiety and depression that followed, honestly and with a lot of heart, but this mix tape-inspired book offers humorous and joyful tracks along with its sad songs. Featuring artists with wide-appeal like The Rolling Stones, The Beatles and Aretha Franklin, in addition to those contemporary artists from Sheffield’s youth — Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Pavement, Yo La Tengo, REM and Weezer — readers will no doubt find this emotional memoir a nostalgic read. Because beneath everything else, it’s a bittersweet, opposites-attract love story with its own unique and very 90s soundtrack.


Breaking Sad by Shelly Fisher and Jennifer Jones

Breaking Sad by Shelly Fisher and Jennifer Jones

Grief isn’t an emotion limited to death, because loss happens outside of death, too. The two are not mutually exclusive. People can grieve many different kinds of losses: the loss of a loved one, sure, but also the loss of health, the loss of a job, the loss of friendship. No matter what the particular situation may be, it’s difficult to know what to say to someone who has suffered a loss — or what not to say to them. This book is geared not toward the grieving, although they would no doubt find comfort within its pages, but towards those looking for the right words and actions to support their loved ones in times of grief. 

Shelly Fisher and Jennifer Jones have gathered the touching stories and heartfelt advice from those who have experienced loss across a spectrum of circumstances. Whether the loss is new, sudden, complex, unacknowledged or suffered at a tender age, the contributors of Breaking Sad share the best and worst things people said or did while experiencing loss. They also offer advice to both those going through a similar experience as well as those wanting to support a grieving person. Many self-help books exist for the former; here’s a helpful guide for the latter.


Chelsea Ciccone

Chelsea Ciccone graduated from the University of North Georgia with a degree in English and now writes and edits for BookTrib.com. She has lived all over the U.S. in her twenty-something years, but, for now, she calls Connecticut home. As a writer, she believes that words are the most accessible form of magic. When she’s not dabbling in the dark arts, she can be found rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, participating in heated debates about literature, or proclaiming her undying love to every dog she meets.

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