According to the most recent U.S. census data, nearly 40 percent of marriages end in divorce. There’s one thing you need to know if you are someone going through — or recovering from — this often traumatic experience, it’s this: you are not alone.
Today, there are a lot of resources available to help you heal and rebuild your life after divorce — group therapy, therapists specializing in divorce, divorce coaches and, of course, a multitude of books on the subject. Here we have gathered five for your consideration, each taking a different approach, unified by a single message: there really is life after divorce — if you are willing to build it.
Didn't See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart by Rachel Hollis
In this latest book by the New York Times bestselling author of Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing, Rachel Hollis tackles the topic of personal transformation through grief. While not limited to divorce, this guide addresses the same emotional landscape of any loss we find ourselves grappling with, such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job. With humor, honesty, and true stories, Hollis demonstrates how to see difficult life passages for the learning experiences they are and the value and growth they provide. Hollis says it’s up to you how you come through your pain — you can come through changed for the better, having learned and grown, or remain stuck in place where your identity becomes rooted in what hurt you. Didn’t See That Coming offers readers inspiration and insight to avoid the latter.
Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart by Amy Chan
The Observer calls Amy Chan “a relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw.” This is what makes her Breakup Bootcamp unique — her approach. Left reeling after a cheating boyfriend, Chan hit rock bottom. That is, until she realized her breakup was an opportunity to break out of complacency and destructive habits, redirect her life, and build a bridge to self-actualization. She devoted herself to learning various healing modalities from the ancient to the scientific, and dove into the psychology of love. Culled from her research, Breakup Bootcamp offers practical advice and methods rooted in cutting-edge psychology and scientific evidence, all focused on helping the heartbroken heal and grow. And for those of us who need a little more help than that, Chan also runs an actual breakup boot camp.
So You're Divorced, So What? by Shaunna Lee
Shaunna Lee is a “Start Again Coach” who’s gone through what you’ve gone through — times three! Her book, So You’re Divorced, So What?, is a pragmatic and uplifting guide to recovering from divorce and claiming the life you’ve always wanted. Lee should know; she has successfully recovered from divorce three times, and candidly shares her experience in navigating these heart (and soul) wrenching events. All three times she’s found strengths she didn’t know she had, and now she’s emerged on the other side to help other women “transform the chaos and fear after divorce into fuel to skyrocket their lives” and “create a plan for true freedom that comes from falling in love with your life and attracting financial success.” Through trial and error and starting over (and over again), Lee learned how to take the negativity of those situations and use it as the springboard needed for personal success.
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, 4th ed. by Bruce Fisher, EdD and Robert Alberti, PhD
This classic guide for divorce recovery has sold more than one million copies since its first printing 35 years ago. The late pioneering therapist Dr. Bruce Fisher built a career on the “rebuilding” model of divorce recovery. His model consists of a 19-step process for putting one’s life back together. In Rebuilding, Fisher shows you this less-traumatic way to gather up those pieces and “rebuild” yourself from the ground up. His method has been used successfully by hundreds of thousands of men and women who have read the book on their own, or used the techniques in one of thousands of Fisher’s divorce recovery seminars. Also included in this edition is Fisher’s Healing Separation model, which offers couples a healing alternative to the usual process from separation to divorce.
Parenting Through Divorce: Helping Your Children Thrive During and After the Split by Lisa Rene Reynolds, PhD
Lest we forget, divorce can have devastating effects on children, too. Marriage and family therapist Lisa Rene Reynolds helps divorcing parents understand and manage the emotional intricacies associated with this difficult time so that they can remain steadfast in their love and support of their children. The book offers a commonsense approach to guiding children through the confusion and pain of divorce while avoiding common mistakes divorcing parents often make. Special attention is paid to emotions, reactions and issues that come up for kids of different age groups, as well as using divorce as an opportunity to build and strengthen healthy bonds with your children. The overall goal is as it should be: to create and maintain a strong, healthy and loving environment for your child, even in the midst of change.
