Surviving the Holidays (Hell-i-Daze) by Olivia Michele Giacomini
In her preface to Surviving the Holidays (Hell-i-Daze), Olivia Michele Giacomini quotes her literary hero Erma Bombeck as saying, “If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.”
That’s the perfect setup for the author’s month-by-month romp through the holidays, poking fun at everything that could — and does— go wrong with our sacred celebrations.
Many of the anecdotes are from her own life experiences, and Giacomini, who fashions herself by the name “Miss OMG,” warns you can’t take her diatribes too seriously. Consider yourself so alerted. That’s because once she goes on the attack, even Santa and the Easter Bunny may need to take cover.
She doesn’t play favorites, and every element of the holidays is fair game, from parking too far away from the stores, to waiting to buy gifts at the last minute (a sign of your significance on the gift-receiving hierarchy), to fighting over an ugly sweater, to the football season being too long (and interfering with February), to her disdain for fireworks, questioning “the appeal of blowing up stuff to celebrate momentous occasions.”
She digs a little deeper on some family matters, not understanding her parents’ inclination to go to bed early on New Year’s Eve until she becomes a parent herself. She also points out that Mother’s Day is intentionally a month before Father’s Day, thus providing a useful barometer for what dad can expect a month later. “You see, we take stock of what actually goes down on Mother’s Day with a full assessment,” she writes.
Don’t ask about April Fool’s Day. Miss OMG recalls a bunch of her pranks, even the ones that backfired. She has interesting things to say about August, September, Labor Day and “back to school.” Part of her observation is the orderly transfer of children from the summer supervision of parents to the nation’s educators. There is a reason these professionals should be paid more in our country, she notes: “They have your children most of the year!”
In the end, Miss OMG puts it all in perspective as she reflects about a passing year. “But what about the good things that happened to all of us? … My goal for next year is to surround myself with positive people and participate in more random acts of kindness.”
“I’ll deal with the negative things,” she says, knowing full well she does just that in her efforts to poke fun at anything that moves and breathes if it has to do with a holiday.
She wraps up with a response from Santa to one of her letters: “Next time I visit, please don’t leave out low-cal cookies and fizzy water — it just makes me pout.”
And to all a good night.
Surviving the Holidays (Hell-i-Daze) is now available for purchase. Visit Olivia M. Giacomini’s BookTrib author page.
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