Walking on Eggshells? by Marli Rusen
What's It About?
“When did your stomach tighten into knots? When did your face get hot, your chest start pounding or your palms get sweaty? Was it what was said, who said it, how it was said, or who was there to hear it?”“When did your stomach tighten into knots? When did your face get hot, your chest start pounding or your palms get sweaty? Was it what was said, who said it, how it was said, or who was there to hear it?”
Whatever it was, was it causing you to walk on eggshells? Noted workplace arbitrator, investigator and mediator Marli Rusen knows a thing or two about that expression, and she has thoroughly and convincingly dissected the topic in her new book, Walking on Eggshells? A Practical Guide to Resolving Stressful Conflict at Work and Home (Brilliant Idea Books).
IDENTIFYING THE CAUSE OF DYSFUNCTION
In many cases, people exit jobs or leave relationships due to stress or anxiety caused by increasing workplace dysfunction and conflict could have been alleviated — or perhaps eliminated altogether — by confronting the source of the issue early and effectively using a tested method developed by the author.
Rusen peppers her dialogue with the words “reflection” and “respect.” Without counting, I would guess “respect” is mentioned 100 times in this short guide, which itself is only about 100 pages. She bangs those concepts home, emphasizing their importance, making her points with intelligent dialogue and narrative, case studies, many checklists and even short “Take It Home” segments that translate work-related situations to one’s home life.
“I saw a hunger — almost a desperation — among employees looking for practical ways to reduce the stress and fatigue associated with their unresolved conflict and dysfunction,” Rusen writes. Her book, she says, “is for anyone who experiences stress, distraction, insomnia or anxiety from unresolved conflicts.”
SIMPLE STEPS TO RESOLVING WORKPLACE CONFLICT
Rusen’s MIRROR Method is a six-step process of evaluation, reflection and then action of talking through those differences with the other party to bring matters into closer harmony. Understanding the triggers to what sets people off, contemplating those reactions and then having respectful, two-way conversations to share feelings will hopefully move any conflict into a better place.
And not all conflicts can be solved right away or at all. Rusen’s guide factors in virtually any reaction or outcome and looks to build on them. “There is nothing easy about conflict resolution. There are no easy answers or one-size-fits-all scripts for any of this,” she notes.
With this in mind, Rusen warns that people should be pragmatic about what to expect in Mirror Conversations. But again, she prepares readers for practically any outcome and situation, and in many forms.
A HELPFUL REFERENCE TOOL
The guide is short but is packed with much advice. With this in mind, readers may find it useful to go through the entire book at least once, getting a firm overview of its concepts. Then the book can be used as a great reference tool, spotting specific issues that might arise in any conflict situation.
The idea is to cut off conflicts before they lead to bigger issues. In this regard, Rusen is offering us a valuable tool to help leaders, staff members and family members.
She observes, “It’s impossible for everyone to get along all the time, but it is possible to sort out most differences in an early and constructive manner.”
It’s not fun to have to walk on eggshells. Here’s your ticket out of that feeling.
Walking on Eggshells is available for purchase here.
About Marli Rusen:
Marli Rusen (B.A., LL.B.), mediator, arbitrator, author, educator and organizational consultant, has transformed her in-depth knowledge of the law and workplace dynamics into a revolutionary approach that helps organizations create healthy and productive environments. Her experience has given her a profound understanding of how day-to-day leadership, interpersonal dynamics and communication affects the overall health, focus and productivity of the workforce. This understanding led to the development of the MIRROR Method. She has helped thousands of organizations learn how to build respect and identify, communicate through, and effectively resolve workplace dysfunction. Visit her website.
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