Happiness. What a complicated concept, elusive goal and clickbait catchphrase. How many headlines have promised you simply that one thing, happiness? And how many have delivered? Have you ever felt betrayed, jaded or even more confused about the actual definition and, even, existence, of this north star after a wild-goose chase to pin it down? If so, join the club. The happiness-seekers, the unhappy hopefuls, the as-seen-on-TV-product-purchasers, the despite-all-evidence-to-the-contrary believers: we still wake up every day searching for the secret to happiness.
At least you’re in good company! It’s part of the human condition to join the great search party for contentment. Yes, it’s absolutely a Sisyphean effort, because for every two steps forward, I can guarantee you there will be a step back. It’s also part of the human condition to endure pain and suffering, so any vision of happiness that excludes these difficulties is a pipe dream. But a mature, balanced understanding holds life’s hardships in one hand and its joys in the other, and still, on the whole, is happy.
All this to say, it’s easier said than done. So don’t take my word for it; take the action, the “doing” of others as evidence for the possibility of a happier life. We’ve searched the plethora of self-help books on the market to find ones that don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk. These authors sought and found a happiness hack that works for them, and maybe, if you try it, it will work for you. There are so many places to look, so start with a book!
Heal Your BMind by Jacob Gonik
Have you ever considered looking for better mental health on the other side of your own mind? For nearly 30 years, this hardworking provider has successfully treated anxiety, stress, fears, traumatic obesity, depression and other mental disorders in an average of only ten sessions, all thanks to his self-coined concept. This eye-opening book is based on an innovative approach: Your mind has two parts — an intellectual part (Imind) and a behavioral part (Bmind). According to the author’s extensive research, all psychological problems are created and stay in your Bmind in the form of apple-tech-like programs. The issues are not intrinsic to your personality; they all hang out in your BMind. When you enter ZETA, a BMind relaxing state, all “malware” can be identified and healed!
This means that all mental disorders have the same trigger. It does not matter if they are depression, alcoholism, anxiety, fear or other haunting hurts. When you enter Self-ZETA the source of the damage can be found and deactivated. It seems absurdly simplistic, but it works! It’s a mentalization process that anyone can use to modify habits and regain stability. Also, most therapists can easily add the ZETA-Bmind concept to their therapies. If you’re interested in this powerful, revolutionary method to overcome obstacles to your mental health, check out our review and our interview with the author.
Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life by Christie Tate
Alternatively, step away from yourself and look outward at other people. Risk vulnerability by being honest about your darkest insecurities … to a group of total strangers. Yes, it’s terrifying, and yes, it’s been tried and tested in this book, which is still a fun and functional memoir about one woman’s experiences with the healing power of group therapy. The author bares her soul to readers by allowing them access to her sessions, displaying the way honesty opens the door to intimacy and stronger relationships.
The author begins her story living a life as a lawyer but suffering from intense sadness as well as an eating disorder. These pains eventually become suicidal thoughts and lead her to open up to her therapist, Dr. Rosen, and some strangers in group therapy. Dr. Rosen challenges her with seemingly random assignments that actually do help in a significant way; eventually, Tate emerges with more resilience, a distinct sense of self, and commitment to a lifelong quest for authenticity and connection. It’s not easy, though. Watch and learn as these strangers and sojourners become friends and lifelines. Read our review here.
Winning the War in Your Mind by Craig Groeschel
Next experiment to try? Instead of looking inside or outside, look up. Maybe spirituality, in this case, God, could be your saving grace. If you ever feel like your own spiraling mind is your worst enemy and your chosen weapon of self-destruction, hand some of the burden over to someone who can handle more than yourself. Pastor and New York Times bestselling author Craig Groeschel has made it his mission to fight the good fight against depression, shame and anxiety using a much more effective double-edged sword: scripture and the latest findings of brain science. He details his life-changing findings in this book.
Groeschel’s practical strategies will make it easier to learn how your brain works and see how to rewire, identify the lies your enemy wants you to believe, recognize and short-circuit your mental triggers for destructive thinking, see how prayer and praise will transform your mind, and develop practices that allow God’s thoughts to become your thoughts. Believe in miracles; one amazon reviewer enthuses, “I truly appreciate how real Craig was with his readers … Craig is all about being intentional when it comes to personal & professional development and this book didn’t let me down. Became my second Bible.” Second Bible, you say? That means a lot coming from a Christian!
The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell
If you’re not feeling the higher power, try imitating some down-to-earth experts: Can you learn the secrets of happiness from the happiest country in the world? Contrary to popular belief, the happiest place on Earth isn’t Disneyland, it’s Denmark. At least, that’s what statistics suggest. So, when Londoner Helen Russell’s husband is hired to work at Lego, she decides to spend their year abroad investigating what makes this country — known for its dark winters, cured herring and pastries — so happy. Infused with dry wit and humor, the book touches on childcare, taxes, healthcare, sex, politics, food, education, interior design and much more.
By immersing herself in Danish culture, Russell is able to provide her reader with a first-hand and comprehensive image of this extremely content country. It should come as no surprise, however, that while the Danes get many things right, they’re not without their faults. Speaking honestly throughout, Russell doesn’t shy away from pointing out the areas where they get things wrong. While examining the true “happiest place on Earth,” Russell offers her readers a guide to living a happier life in this fun, insightful and highly enjoyable romp through a foreign land. It’s funny and quirky and full of heart, a joyride through a gorgeous nation with wisdom for those who seek it.
Phosphorescence: A Memoir of Finding Joy When Your World Goes Dark by Julia Baird
Maybe the key is out there in the wisdom of the natural world, even the bottom of the sea? “What has fascinated and sustained me over these last few years has been the notion that we have the ability to find, nurture, and carry our own inner, living light — a light to ward off the darkness,” begins author Julia Baird, leading us into her deeply personal memoir supported by a well-researched scientific backbone. This acclaimed author and journalist ruminated upon humankind’s ability to withstand the worst in life. She had good reason to consider heavy topics; she herself was coming off a terrible heartbreak and brush with death from cancer. So, she pursued the study and discovery of what she calls “our own phosphorescence,” that unquenchable fire within that is our flashlight when darkness descends.
Baird also discusses the key factors of resilience: nurturing friendships and a quiet faith, the quest for healing silence, standing up for your values and true beliefs, and more insightful takeaways. Additionally, she reaches out to those who properly care for their inner phosphorescence and conducts interviews that exemplify the practice. It’s a book that’s as beautiful as it is happiness-inducing. Read our review of the “convicting and inspiring” book here.
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
And finally, maybe you need some tips from the woman who set out to try everything. “Once I came to understand habits as harnessing our own laziness — making a habit frees you from decision-making, which you can use to your advantage — my relationship to them changed permanently,” says a reviewer from none other than The New Yorker. Meanwhile, as further testament to the usefulness of this book, it “lays out life’s essential goals … serves as a kind of detailed instruction manual on how to achieve them” according to The New York Times Book Review. Gretchen Rubin had a daybreak moment on a rainy day: “The days are long, but the years are short … time is passing, and I’m not focusing enough on the things that really matter.” So she decided to dedicate a year to what matters most and make the short years worth every single second.
An adventure awaits as she experiments with all kinds of “tips and tricks,” from the wisdom of the ages to current scientific research and lessons from pop culture, all about how to be happier. Some key takeaways: challenges inspire cheer; money can contribute but not complete; outer order makes way for interior peace. More’s in store. Rubin is also the author of The Happiness Journal, Happier at Home, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies, as well as the host of the popular podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin. One amazon reviewer warns any future partakers to “only read this if you are serious about finding your way to happiness …” so embark upon The Happiness Project at your own risk.
