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“They were adept at manipulating my emotions and trust, so they could serve their sexual needs. There was chemistry, they were very charismatic and I actually believed what they said about wanting a relationship — until I came out of my romantic fog.”
Welcome to the world of online dating, and welcome to Katie Beringer’s He Said What?! (read our review here) — for those who wish they had a blueprint or “online dating mentor” to help navigate this crazy process. The author’s guide for love, support and insight, which had been incubating for several years, is now available, featuring tips and tactics to move the wrong men out of your “orbit” quickly.
“All those kind-hearted, trusting women of all ages may not have the same ability to identify the disingenuous guys and see the red flags on their own,” says Beringer.
In this recent Q&A, Beringer takes us deeper into her cautionary yet encouraging look into online dating.
Q: What is the primary objective of He Said What?!
A: To share my stories and expertise to empower women to quickly recognize and purge those men who are looking for money, a hook-up, a green card or something other than love. My hope is that this book inspires badass women to pursue their love dreams and find a fantastic man and relationship that they richly deserve.
Q: When you had to hit the dating scene again, was it more scary or exciting?
A: Both! I had been married for 28 years and it had been 30-plus years since I last “dated,” and the technology aspects of the internet had taken us into a very different dating world. I was excited about the ability to screen through many more men than I could ever meet in person and discover my future partner. My number-one goal was to stay “safe” during the process, as I did not really know if that face and voice behind that screen or call was trustworthy or not.
Q: What do you think of online dating overall as a “tool” to find Mr. Right? Is it the best, easiest method these days?
A: Easy? Yes, as nothing else on the planet will give you more options to view multitudes of men that may qualify as a love interest. But — let me use the old adage — it’s about “quality, not quantity.” A large motivation for writing this book is to give females the best screening insight to expeditiously move through the many that will waste your time. Is it the best tool? It can be, it all depends on the perseverance of the female. I must disclaim, though, that it can be equally as frustrating to remain positive in the quest to find the rare “diamond” that they will be wonderfully compatible with.
Q: Are many people reluctant to pursue online dating? Why the hesitation and how does your book allay any perceived fear?
A: It is a great strategy, but not for the faint of heart. I’d say the majority of women in my circles do use it as one of their primary tools to find love. My best girlfriend is not open to pursuing this path and it is not for everyone. I have written this tough-love book as an Online Dating 101 guide, especially for the novices and first-timers. I want to use my hard lessons over the years to help them expedite their learning curve.
Q: What was one of the biggest mistakes you made?
A: Allowing a few guys too far in too quickly. But once I came out of my romantic fog, I paid close attention to their actions and ongoing patterns of inconsistency (big red flag). No mas!
Q: Give an example of how you can pick up a vibe that the man you are interested in is not all he seems to be.
A: I look and listen closely to see if their words match their actions and if they follow through on all plans. From the first text (or call), does their written profile support what they’re telling me? Do they “do what they say they’re going to do” on all levels? If not, ciao bello! There are no excuses they, or you, can give them for not caring about your needs or putting you first, period.
Q: What demographic will benefit most from your book?
A: Women of all ages, either new to the online dating scene or who are currently online and struggling with this wild dating strategy for finding men. There really are men online legitimately looking for a love partner! This book will help streamline the journey.
Q: What’s your next project?
A: I want to continue to support women and bring together a community forum to share stories for those women who would benefit from this type of connection. So stay tuned … a podcast is in the works.
He Said What?! is available for purchase. For more about Beringer, visit her BookTrib author profile page.
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About Katie Beringer:
Katie Beringer is a debut author who, after losing her beautiful husband to cancer at age 58, was encouraged by her more daring and adventurous girlfriends to jump into the exciting online dating arena! She knew that she had many more life and “love chapters” left in her youthful spirit, and she was ready to delve into this new experience. Ha! … little did she know the roller coaster ride that awaited her.
She is a native “Los Angelean,” who leans to the artistic side. She has owned many vintage cars, collects antiques and enjoys investing in real estate projects. She also competes in the Ballroom dance arena.
She splits her time between her charming 1923 Rosebowl home (she shared with her hubby) and her “enchanted storybook” cottage at the lake in Big Bear, CA. This cottage was previously owned by the popular singing movie cowboy, Roy Rogers!
