The Book of Women's Friendship by Rachel Cooke
Female friendship is all the rage in popular culture at the moment. You see it in the forefront of movies, TV shows, and social media. The idea that platonic relationships between women are of incredible importance, more so even than a romantic relationship, has become more and more normalized in the media, but this certainly hasn’t always been the case.
In The Book of Women’s Friendships, Rachel Cooke points out how friendship between women has historically been reduced to a childish, superficial attachment. She disproves this again and again with her carefully curated anthology, which aims to unpack the complicated beauty and overall importance of friendships between women. There has never been such an in-depth anthology about female friendship. With it, Cooke proves that women’s friendship is not just a trend, but it is, and has been, a source of life as vital as air.
Friendships Through the Years
The anthology focuses on the solidarity as well as the animosity that has been felt between women, pairing stories of contemporary friendships with those throughout history, including excerpts from Jane Austen, Virginia Woolf, Margaret Atwood, Zadie Smith, and many more notable women and writers. It includes excerpts from novels, letters, diaries, and even graphic novels and comics.
Cooke starts the anthology with an excerpt from Ruth 1:1–19, with a scene between Naomi and Ruth, one of the earliest documentations of women’s unbreakable bond. She goes on to break it into ten chapters, which she says are shaped after a human life. Beginning with the innocence of a childhood friend and ending with the grief of saying goodbye. She even goes so far as to illuminate the ugliness, from feelings of loneliness, falling outs, or simply growing apart.
A Deeply-Rooted Bond
All women can understand that friendship can be at once a simple harmony, the beautiful feeling of finding someone who thinks the same way you do, as well as one of the most complex relationships you will ever have. As many of the works included in The Book of Women’s Friendship point out, some friendships last a lifetime, carrying you through drastic life changes. Often, an old friend sees you through far more of your life than a romantic partner ever could.
Each element Cooke chooses to include seems incredibly purposeful, with each chapter building upon itself to create a comprehensive collection. It reads like a montage of what makes womanhood so beautiful and unique.
Solidarity, Sister
This book aims to highlight the ordinary aspects of any and all friendships. The universality of these relationships is poignant. Cooke herself starts the introduction with a wholesome story of her own oldest friend, their memories, how they have grown together, and how each has impacted the other
Throughout the anthology, Cooke continues to include a personal touch that, I found, made it impossible not to get lost in relating the stories to my own experiences, blending my own friendships into the holistic tapestry that is this strange solidarity and understanding between women and the relationships between them.
A Piece of the Tapestry
The Book of Women’s Friendship is meant to be a slow and thoughtful read. What makes it so touching is that every woman will be able to find themselves and their relationships with other women somewhere within these pages, whether you walk through life easily collecting friendships, or you find them as rare and valuable as gemstones.
This book will give you a new appreciation for every friend you have ever had. It will make you feel a part of something bigger, a sisterhood that spans centuries. But more than that, it allows you to keep the story going by continuing to live and learn from your female friendships.
About Rachel Cooke:
Rachel Cooke was an award-winning British journalist and writer. She lived in London, where she is a columnist at the Observer and the New Statesman. Her previous books are Her Brilliant Career and Kitchen Person.
