Why Can’t Dating be Like Pizza? by Andy V. Roamer
I remember high school as an extreme time. One day you’re outrageously happy and everything is right in the world; the next day, you’re immensely sad and nothing you attempt goes right. (This is not unlike being a writer, but I digress). I can’t imagine what that journey is like when you’re trying to also figure out your sexual orientation. I no longer have to wonder: in Why Can’t Dating be Like Pizza? By Andy V. Roamer main character RV and his friends are going through it for us.
This YA selection is book 5 in The Pizza Chronicles and follows RV, shortened version of his Lithuanien first name, as he goes through his sophomore year at rigorous Boston Latin School. This is the continuation of main character RV’s high school journey as he struggles with a full load of difficult second-year classes – and difficult teachers to match, a guidance counselor who’s pressuring him to get out of his shell and get into some extracurricular activities, a bestie who’s determined to make it in politics – and drag him along for the ride, Lithuanien parents with a strict work ethic, and trying to understand what it means to be gay now that he’s kissed two boys – neither of which wanted a relationship.
A VIVID DEPICTION OF LGBTQIA+ STRUGGLE
It’s not lost on me that I’m reading this during Banned Books Week. This year’s theme “Censorship Divides Us, Books Unite Us” has never rang more true until this moment. While I’ve always thought of myself as an LGBTQIA+ ally, it’s hard to truly understand the struggle of coming out without having experienced it yourself. You should be able to like who you like; why does it matter who that is if it doesn’t affect us personally? I know that many struggle because despite what should be, society still lags a bit in the acceptance department. Books like this are the perfect building blocks to help remedy this problem.
As I read Why Can’t Dating be Like Pizza? I see sixteen-year-old RV’s reasons for coming out and what they mean to him. By this point, he has discovered that he’s gay, and has come out to his parents. Each night at the dinner table, he wonders if they will bring it up, if they will talk to him about it, or if they even understand what he’s told them. On the days when they mention his social life, he briefly gets excited that they may have a conversation, but when it doesn’t happen, he’s disappointed and confused.
RV is silently begging for validation, and at the very least to be seen–to be met on his level. When someone tells us who they are, they are also making a silent ask of us: please meet me on my level. Acknowledge who I am and relate to me with that knowledge. RV is also in a way asking for guidance. These are his parents after all, and being gay is new to him.
TOUCHES UNIVERSAL THEMES
When RV does get into a relationship, he comes out fully to his friends. Their reactions give him something to feel good about – an assurance, support. But the saving grace for RV is his former teacher Mr. Aniso. They have a special bond, and when talking with Mr. Aniso, readers know that the teacher is one of RV’s safe spaces. There’s real conversation, understanding, and a respect for one another when they get together to hash out issues. Mr. Aniso has done something for RV that even his parents couldn’t do – he’s made a connection with RV on his level. Readers can see RV growing and learning every time he talks to his favorite teacher.
This coming-of-age YA novel is full of teenage angst and drama that doesn’t seem to skip any generations. It touches universal themes, showcases family dynamics, gives everyone who reads it something to think about – how are you relating to those in your life? Are you hearing them when they tell you who they are?
Trigger warning: a mention of an attempt at suicide, and its aftermath.
Why Can’t Dating Be Like Pizza is available for purchase here.
About Andy V Roamer:
Andy V. Roamer grew up in the Boston area and moved to New York City after college. He worked in book publishing for many years, starting out in the children’s and YA books division and then wearing many other hats. THE PIZZA CHRONICLES are his novels about RV, the teenage son of immigrants from Lithuania in Eastern Europe, as RV tries to negotiate his demanding high school, his budding sexuality, and new relationships. He has written an adult novel, Confessions of a Gay Curmudgeon, under the pen name Andy V. Ambrose. To relax, Andy loves to ride his bike, read, watch foreign and independent movies, and travel.
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