Starter Villain by John Scalzi
What's It About?
After an ordinary man inherits his uncle's supervillain business, it's up to him to win a war against his fellow villains.For cat owners, it is a truth universally acknowledged that we could never know all there is to know about our felines. Despite our best efforts, cats remain mysterious and often elusive, especially if they’re outdoor travelers. Where do they visit on their day trips? In John Scalzi’s newest novel, Starter Villain, he answers this question with spicy relish: maybe, cats run off somewhere secret, somewhere to plot. Cat owners already suspect this, but what if it were true? Maybe they are the minions of your recently dead billionaire uncle, and now you’ve inherited the family business.
That’s Starter Villain in a nutshell.
Our lead Charlie Fitzer’s had a rough go of it recently, but he means well. He muses: “I didn’t need another cat. At this point in my brilliant career as an itinerant educator I could barely afford to feed myself. But then, no one ever needs a cat these days. That’s not why we have cats. We have cats because they amuse us and because otherwise our clothes would lack the texture only cat hair can provide.”
One morning Charlie receives word of his Uncle Jake’s death from CNN. The family wasn’t what you’d call close. But Jake’s right-hand woman Mathilda Morrison arrives at Charlie’s door anyway, asking him to pretty please receive guests at the memorial service, one filled with attempted corpse stabbings and vulgar flower arrangements. Oh, and also, if he didn’t mind, would he mind taking over a villain enterprise?
Charlie’s soon forced by malicious forces to accept, and he’s whisked away to his uncle’s island. Deep beneath an active volcano is Charlie’s bequeathed domain, complete with genetically modified cats that communicate on keyboards and potty-mouthed, unionized dolphins who threaten strikes. One can sympathize.
As if navigating this new reality of talking animals and inheritance from a man he doesn’t remember isn’t enough, Charlie now has to attend a convention with other billionaires: Uncle Jake’s colleagues – or better aptly named, frenemies. It quickly becomes apparent the type of people Charlie’s now up against – self-entitled tech bros who assume they’re smart just because they have money. This is just one of the many ways Starter Villain mirrors real life.
MIRRORS REAL LIFE
It’s a story with something for everyone. There’s lots of language about liquidation and assets and money that isn’t really there, but then there’s deep cave vaults reminiscent of Raiders of the Lost Ark, James Bond-style organizations, and cartoony characters with laser beams and satellites. The novel is incessantly funny; chuckles abound on every page. A lot of the humor comes from just how out of touch the billionaires are; from their lavish convention on Lake Como to their hazing ritual Pitch and Pitch. In a crucial scene, Mathilda explains it all to Charlie in grotesque detail.
“So this is all a cult,” he remarks.
“Cults are more fun,” Mathilda replies.
Turns out, Charlie has a lot to learn about this whole villain business, not to mention dodging all the assassination attempts, but his background as a business journalist has prepared him more than he expected. Scalzi presents Charlie as an underdog, a bit insecure and fearful but open to change and willing to go with the flow. He continually underestimates himself, only to unveil ingenuity and strength within each crisis. Expecting nothing but trying his best, he comes out triumphant. It’s nice to see a character surprise themself this way. Though Charlie may be in his thirties, Starter Villain almost reads like a coming-of-age story. A man discovers he’s brighter than the people who want him dead because he lives outside their bubble. They see themselves as superior, but defeat is so unfathomable to them that it only takes a little common sense to reveal the blind spots. Charlie’s ability to outwit grows with each new twist and turn, and there are plenty of them to go around.
Scalzi is talented at pacing dialogue, keeping it snappy and condensed and always reeking of sarcasm. In fact, the bulk of the novel is told in dialogue. A bit like an Elmore Leonard novel with sentient animals. Though never ham-fisted, Starter Villain has a lot to say on animal welfare and worker rights, the absurdity of rampant, unchecked egos, and extreme wealth gaps. After all, if the people running things have no idea what they’re doing either, what’s the difference between them and us? And what makes a true villain, anyway? These questions are here, but if you desire nothing more than light-hearted fun, that’s here too. No matter your flavor, Starter Villain is well worth your time.
About the author:
John Scalzi writes books, which, considering where you’re reading this, makes perfect sense. He’s best known for writing science fiction, including the New York Times bestseller “Redshirts,” which won the Hugo Award for Best Novel. He also writes non-fiction, on subjects ranging from personal finance to astronomy to film, was the Creative Consultant for the Stargate: Universe television series. He enjoys pie, as should all right thinking people. You can get to his blog by typing the word “Whatever” into Google. No, seriously, try it.
