Choosing Life by Blue Andrews
If there’s one word that can sum up Blue Andrews‘ memoir Choosing Life (Luminare Press), it’s courage. Throughout the book, Andrews displays the courage to tell a brutal story about a life self-destructing day by day, hitting the lowest of lows and then having the courage to, as the book’s title suggests, choose life by undergoing a long and arduous recovery process. As he recounts his battles with grief, alcoholism and depression, he also gives readers guidance on finding the strength and support to endure.
We got the chance to speak with Andrews on what it was like to craft this personal tale of courage and perseverance.
Q: What made you decide to pen this moving story?
A: Deaths of despair (drug overdoses, suicide, alcoholic liver disease) are on the rise, especially for middle aged men. I wanted to raise my hand and share, “I’ve been there. I understand.” I hope to be an example, provide some hope. If I can talk about depression, alcoholism, low self-esteem, grieving … If I can make it out of the darkness … Maybe someone else will feel like they can as well.
Q: You talk about the dichotomy between the way your life looked from the outside, versus how you felt internally. In your recovery, how did you reconcile these two sides of yourself, both how you felt and what others saw?
A: It is still peculiar to me, even after all of these years, that I can feel both tremendous sadness and tremendous joy, sometimes even on the same day. I also still wonder how I’ve had a life in which so much has been given, but also so much has been taken away. Reconciling these contradictions has been one of the hardest parts of my recovery, something I still work on to this day. Much of my solution lies in accepting my life and my Self so that I can then feel comfortable sharing it.
Q: What was it like to recount all of these personal experiences in Choosing Life?
A: Oh, wow, some of it was really hard, just so emotional that I was physically tired after a solid session of writing. Much of the depression and drinking chapters, and almost all of the description of the night of my attempt, brought up a variety of feelings. It got intense, but I felt like I needed to go back to those experiences over and over so I could best describe them for the reader. It’s weird crying over your own words.
Q: You’ve developed a system called CREEDS, built upon the tenets that helped you climb out of grief, alcoholism and depression. How much of this system is discussed in the book?
A: I don’t discuss CREEDS Living directly in the book. I wanted this memoir to strictly be stories about my life in depression, alcoholism, grief, recovery, self-discovery and wellness. However, I do allude to the six pillars plus foundation of CREEDS Living — communication, reflection, expression, exercise, diet, sleep and purpose. I hope the reader picks up on the importance of each.
Q: What do you hope to tell those who may relate to your story? What do you hope readers will take away from this book?
A: I envision three groups of people who might be able to extract something from Choosing Life.
For those who are in the midst of struggling with depression or alcoholism I would say, “You don’t have to feel this way.” Sometimes it feels so hopeless, like they are destined for this. I want them to know that wellness, a life that includes joy and beauty, is a possibility.
For those who are in recovery, I would hope that Choosing Life could be a reminder of what once was, possibly acting as a motivator to remain on a journey toward wellness.
For those who are supporting, or just around, someone struggling with depression and/or alcoholism, I hope Choosing Life would give them some insight into what those ailments are like. They are so hard to understand if you’ve never experienced them. I tried to provide some insight into the mindset of someone in the throes of depression or alcoholism.
Q: Are there any more memoirs, or other books, planned in your future?
A: No more memoirs, but I am working on a few other projects around CREEDS Living. A book called CREEDS Living Foundation is about halfway completed. I will expand on the website with regular articles or personal essays. CREEDS Living Radio is a dream I have. I do have outlines for two additional books, one about alcoholism and the other in more of a philosophy/theology genre, but we’ll see if I can make those a reality.
Blue Andrews is a stay-at-home dad living across the lake from Seattle with his beautiful wife and four incredible children. Outside of spending time with his family, he enjoys exercising, live music and road trips. He developed CREEDS Living in response to his struggles with loss and grieving, alcoholism, depression and low self-esteem. His goal with CREEDS Living is to provide information and insight around Connection, Reflection, Expression, Exercise, Diet and Sleep, and remind people to consider their own creeds.
