Jan Paez‘s debut, Tales of a Mad Hatter, is an important book on a subject near and dear to the author’s heart. It is a nonfiction offering in which the author himself struggles with childhood and adolescence that are punctuated by all kinds of abuse, trauma, darkness and growth through cold hard experiences.
Paez moves from Poland to New York to Massachusetts, finding new challenges in every new environment. In the end, however, he finds himself and learns powerful lessons that he’s ready to share in this book. Mad Hatter is about mental illness and suffering, but also and ultimately, it is about resilience and redemption.
This interview is a privilege. It’s thoughtful, informative and shines a light on how Paez’s individual story impacts his writing process and vice versa; because there’s no better way to process both societal and personal issues than to write about them!
Q: Why did you decide to write this book?
A: I wanted to write this book to shed light on mental illness and offer guidance to anybody who is suffering in silence. I feel that it’s important to have mental health resources at your fingertips; growing up in high school I did not have access to the resources. Had I had access I feel that I could have gotten help sooner for my mental illness as well as the abuse going on that I kept silent about all through high school. I also found the writing process itself to be very cathartic, and just the act of writing my story helped to heal me and provide closure to my own personal story.
Q: You tackle some heavy issues: child abuse, mental illness. Please shed light on what happened to you and how your audience can benefit from your experiences.
A: I grew up in an abusive household with an extremely controlling and abusive father while my mother was very submissive to him. My maternal grandmother had schizophrenia and so mental illness runs in my family. As a result, I was growing up with extreme social anxiety and depression in high school and never went to see a psychologist until I was 18 years old. Had I seen a psychologist earlier it probably would have saved me from a lot of pain, destructive behavior and bad choices throughout my teens and my twenties.
Q: Was writing this book difficult – or therapeutic – for you emotionally?
A: While I found aspects of writing my story difficult, for the most part I found the whole writing process to be very therapeutic. The act of telling my story and shedding light on my issues was a rewarding experience and helped to provide some closure to my story.
Q: What was the toughest part to write about?
A: The toughest part to write about was the abuse that was going on throughout high school and how I felt and hid my pain from my friends and school community. It was also difficult to remember how people would ridicule me because I would easily blush when I got embarrassed and was highly sensitive.
Q: Tell us about bipolar disorder – how you are currently feeling, and what some of the challenges are.
A: Bipolar Disorder affects a person’s mood. It results in periods of mania and depression. People suffering from the disorder find the combination of therapy and medication to help them lead a more productive life. Currently, I’m feeling hopeful as I am working full-time again after being disabled for eight years in a rewarding job as a mental health worker in a group home setting. I find the combination of therapy and the right medication to be extremely helpful in my recovery. The challenge is that I’m currently suffering from alcoholism and still find drinking to be a problem. I also suffer from manic spending (damn Amazon!) and struggle with my finances a bit.
Q: Tell us about the work you currently are doing as a mental health worker.
A: As a mental health worker, my job is to assist and monitor nine adults with extreme mental illness. I provide counseling to them and coach them on daily life skills such as showering or maintaining good hygiene. I also work as a program manager in a residential setting for adults on the autism spectrum, where not only do I provide direct care to four nonverbal adults, but I also run the day-to-day operations of the program. It is highly rewarding work and I find it gives me a sense of purpose. I’m an advocate for people with disabilities and mental illness and I want to shed some light on the fact that it’s extremely important to engage in some sort of meaningful employment. When I was on disability, I found that not only was I in poverty, I was also neglected by society. The disabled population is one that needs more attention and we must work to promote awareness for this vulnerable population.
Q: What would you hope readers take away from reading your book?
A: In reading my book, it is my hope that people realize that they are not alone in their struggles and that no matter how dark things may seem, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. In today’s society, I feel that both adults and young people suffer in silence and are embarrassed and ashamed to talk about their mental health issues, and we must encourage more open dialogue. I hope that this book would promote this type of dialogue.
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About Jan Paez:
Jan Paez is an advocate for the mentally ill as well as for the disabled. He currently works as a Mental Health Worker at a group home for adults with severe mental illness. In the past, Jan has worked as a caregiver for teens with autism and is passionate about working and empowering people who live with mental illness as well as those who are disabled. He is thinking about going back to school to get his Master’s in vocational rehab counseling. Tales of A Mad Hatter is Jan’s first publication. He lives in Boston, MA.
