“Cats are dicks.”

It’s quite a statement, but one that us cat-lovers have come to accept. It is also a fact that The Oatmeal (Matthew Inman) delightfully exploited for us in How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You and has continued it for us in his latest, Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby (Andrews McMeel Publishing).

Welcome to the self-help book you never knew you needed. Welcome to the silly comic book that actually offers baby-owners solace and cat-owners giggles. Not only will this book offer you helpful tidbits on “How To Tell If Your Cat Thinks You’re Not That Big Of A Deal” and “How To Be A Dog.” The Oatmeal also unpacks the true problems with car seats, expanding on the design with his own inventive additions to keep babies quiet and cats occupied at the same time. All the while, he demonstrates his unique sense of dry and relatable humor.

While this book is, for the most part, a rumination on cats and babies (mostly cats), The Oatmeal also tackles less frequently addressed topics such as farts and sneezes with gusto. Why is it that we are offended when someone farts (a harmless non-disease carrying fart), yet when someone sneezes their germs everywhere they get a “bless you?”

Other delightful topics include why our cats grow up one way when they are spoiled and our babies another. Are we to blame? Are our cats splaying their underside to the world to show off or because it’s comfortable? (Hint: it’s the first.)

It’s a hard realization to come to, but after reading this helpful book of comics, while my own cat is attacking my feet in bed, I think I can come to terms with it: Cats. Are. The. Worst.

Except when it comes to babies.

Because babies are “ham-goblins” that pop out of the womb looking like an alien and screaming. AT LEAST, cats don’t do that.

Other revelations I came to from this insightful novel: Did you know that farts think that they heal your body and consider themselves your “toot baby?” Or that dogs allow humans to leash themselves to you to prevent the humans from chasing cars, wildlife and/or their dreams?

I mean…he makes some good points. Also, the book comes with a poster that I personally already have hanging on my wall. Additionally, Why My Cat is More Impressive Than Your Baby is a great book to keep in your cubicle at work to relieve stress, or next to the toilet, because, what better way is there to have a good number two than reading a comic about a dog’s number two? Or a baby pooping in a litter box? You choose.

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is available now.

About Matthew Inman: 

Image Via Wikipedia

Matthew Inman is the Eisner Award-winning creator of The Oatmeal and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. Matthew also co-created the popular Exploding Kittens card game. Since being founded in 2009, his work on TheOatmeal.com has been read by over 300 million people.