Talk to My Brain: CBT Based Stories for Children by Dr. Parul Cedilnik
“Children need to feel understood and supported, knowing they’re not alone in their struggles.”
That’s one of the driving principles Dr. Parul Cedilnik tries to convey in her book, Talk to My Brain: CBT Based Stories for Children. The book aims to enhance overall emotional regulation in children, through being mindful of their feelings, and developing the realization that we have some power in changing how we feel, by changing our thoughts and behaviors.
The book consists of six stories with illustrations and is meant for young children (age 5 through 9 years) and parents, counselors, psychologists, social workers and other allied mental health professionals who work with them.
In this recent interview, the author took us on a deep dive into her work.
Q: Can you explain the circumstances that first inspired you to write Talk To My Brain?
A: I recognized a lack of child-friendly resources for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is a widely used therapeutic approach for various mental health conditions, but resources tailored specifically for young children are limited. I could find relatively shallow exercises, and some books based on the CBT principles, but I wanted something relatively deeper — to convey the children the real principle behind the CBT, the thinking patterns, the belief system, our internal dialogues etc. I want them and also the parents to be aware of these internal thoughts and our thinking mistakes, as well as to bring the principles of CBT as a lifelong philosophy to children and the families.
Thus I thought I could help to fill this gap by creating stories that introduce CBT concepts in a way that could be more engaging for children, and we can refer back to the characters and not just remind them about the technique. I initially made up these stories, in a more raw form, to use with my young clients and then with my daughter and eventually decided to put them in the shape of this book.
Q: What compelled you to become a psychologist?
A: It just felt right. And every day when I wake up, I want to go to my work, to support people — both children and adults.
Q: Your book centers around Cognitive Behavioral Therapy — what is it about this technique that is so successful for those who put it into action?
A: Of course, CBT is not THE method to deal with every mental health related issue, but it is indeed effective for many issues, and specially in conjunction with other approaches, such as CBT with neo-psychoanalytic approach or insight-oriented approach. CBT as a technique emerged in contrast to psychoanalysis in 1950s. It gradually became popular as a new way to help people with their mental health. It was different and more effective than the old-fashioned therapy, which focused on talking about past experiences.
CBT works by helping people understand how their thoughts, feelings and actions are connected. Instead of spending a long time talking about or only emotionally processing past events, CBT therapists help people focus on what’s happening in their lives right now and how they can cope better.
Another reason CBT works well is because it involves both the therapist and the person working together. They set goals and come up with practical strategies to deal with problems. This makes people feel more in control, responsible and confident about managing their issues.
CBT is successful is because it’s been tested and proven to work for many different problems like depression, anxiety, and stress; and it has kept evolving from original RET and REBT by Albert Ellis, to CBT by Aaron T. Beck, and then to DBT, ACT, SFBT, Mindfulness, etc. There has been a constant evolution, keeping it relevant.
Q: You say that becoming a mother made you a better psychologist. Could you expand on that?
A: I think, becoming a mother took to me a higher level of patience and empathy; and to a deeper level in children’s world. I improved my ability to tune into my child’s emotions and needs, which helped me better understand my clients’ experiences and struggles. I became more aware, compassionate and sensitive to what others are going through.
Q: What’s something people may not realize about child psychology?
A: Child psychology is about understanding how kids think and feel. But in the regular clinical world, sometimes, parents and psychologists/counselors or other professional do not realize how important it is to listen to kids and understand their feelings. Instead of validating their emotions, often parents and professionals just tell them to feel or think differently.
Some psychologists and behavior therapists focus only on changing kids’ behaviors without really talking to them or listening to what they have to say. This can make kids feel like their feelings and opinions don’t matter.
But the truth is, kids have the same feelings that we have as adults and have equally important things to say too! They might have their own ideas about how to solve their problems, and it’s important to listen to them.
When adults take the time to understand kids’ perspectives and involve them in finding solutions, it helps kids feel valued and respected; and we all get better outcome. So, in clinical area of child psychology, it’s crucial for parents and psychologists to show empathy toward children, listen to their feelings and involve them in making decisions about their own lives.
Q: What do you hope readers take away from the book?
A: I hope that readers, especially kids, learn important things about their thoughts and feelings. I want them to understand that it’s okay to feel different emotions, like happiness, sadness, or worry. Through the stories in the book, I hope they discover ways to manage their feelings and solve problems. I want kids to feel confident and strong, knowing they have the power to change how they think and feel.
Most importantly, I hope this book helps children feel understood and supported, knowing they’re not alone in their struggles. I am not a writer per se, I am a psychologist, I just want to convey my ideas, and bring out another tool that parents and therapists can use to work with children.
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