No Stone Unturned by Nadean Stone
She was that close.
So close that their knees almost touched. Nadean Stone was sitting right next to the hospital administrator who held in her hands Nadean’s birth records revealing the name of her birth mother. It was right there. Nadean, adopted 46 years earlier, was about to unlock her life’s great mystery.
But the laws at the time in Canada did not allow the administrator to share adoption info with adoptees. With such heartbreak and frustration, Nadean considered yanking the file from the administrator’s hands and dashing off.
Instead, Nadean Stone, author of her gripping memoir No Stone Unturned: A Remarkable Journey to Identity, set off to move heaven and earth in an effort to uncover the identity of her blood mother.
We took the time to talk with Nadean Stone about the writing process that went into telling this moving story of self-discovery.
Q: Why did you write this book?
A: Many illegitimate newborns in Canada were sold or illegally given away by the Catholic Church and other institutions in the 1950s. I was one of those babies.
Subsequently I faced numerous life challenges per one reviewer “that would bury a lesser person.” One reviewer in the UK shared that “after reading Nadean’s story, I shall now look upon my life as a glass filled to the brim”. My wish is that readers will be inspired to find faith, hope and the courage to persevere, despite the odds. To continue to dream. To never give up as miracles really do happen.
Q: Why did it become so important to you at a certain stage in your life to identify and find your blood mother?
A: Every child has the right to know his/her ancestry, their heritage, their history. My birthday wish every year was to find my birth mother. It was my greatest wish. So much of who we are, who we become is based on experience and environment, but genes play an important role as well. In 1980 I had a son and wanted to be able to share my ancestry with him and for both of us to meet my birth mother and any siblings.
Q: What kinds of obstacles did you face?
A: I was thwarted in my search by the fact that I was never legally adopted. I did not discover this until 2017. I could not imagine that documentation involved in the transfer of a baby, did not happen with me. I was simply given away by Mother Superior at the hospital to a young couple.
In 2008 the Province of Ontario changed its law permitting legally adopted persons access to their birth records. As I was never legally adopted this right was denied to me. The hospital where I was born also refused to share any details about my birth.
Q: Have any of those obstacles been eliminated in more recent times?
A: The Privacy Commission in the Province of Ontario considers its privacy policy inviolable. Only a legislative policy change will enable thousands of illegally adopted persons like me or babies whose adoption was not perfectly executed access to our birth records.
Q: Describe your life before you began your search. It seems like you faced much privilege and pain.
A: Although my non-adoptive mother Rita passed two years after taking me from the hospital, her mother, my grandmother became the rock in my life. I owe so much of my strength to her upbringing, her faith in God, her determination that I receive a good education, her strong moral convictions and optimistic outlook on life, her caring compassionate nature and her unrelenting love and support. I experienced much joy, loss and pain in life but was able to survive each challenge and continue to look forward to what life held in store because of my grandmother.
Q: What was the most difficult part of the book to write?
A: There were many experiences that were difficult to recount. I would sit at the kitchen table typing late into the night. At times I laughed uproariously at the antics such as eating a poisonous fruit and careening around the island in a taxi trying to obtain emergency medical treatment. At other times I wept uncontrollably thinking about a particular challenge. There were too many. I realized after my separation and divorce that I was a prisoner on the island unless I was willing to leave my son behind, which I refused to do. That was a particularly difficult time.
Q: Tell us about the work you are doing now as an advocate for children and adoptees.
A: In July 2018 I filed a petition with the UN Commission on the Rights of the Child illuminating numerous Articles of the UN Convention that the Province of Ontario has violated in its treatment of illegally adopted children. The Committee met in September and October 2018 in Geneva to review and deliberate all submissions. The Committee will assemble questions to present to the Canadian government delegation, asking for its response to the allegations. My wish if for legislative change that will enable babies not legally adopted, access to our birth records. I am working on that initiative.
Q: What is the one overriding message you would want readers to take away from your book?
A: Life is never perfect, but one can experience perfectly wonderful moments. Life can be hard at times, and one needs to work through the challenges that are presented to us. Continue to have faith, hope and especially courage. Never, ever give up. Continue to dream and to pursue your goals no matter how insurmountable they might seem as dreams really do come true!
You might experience a miraculous outcome that you could never have envisioned. I was able to experience many perfectly wonderful moments and they were worth all the effort! My next goal is a TV series or movie.
Nadean Stone was born in Blind River Ontario, Canada, graduated from Windsor University in 1973 with a BA and McMaster University in 1976 with an MBA. She obtained her Certificate in Journalism in 2002 and her Certificate of Legal Management, CLM in 2011.
In 2004, Nadean helped launch a weekday one-hour talk show on NBC Miramar, FL as the show’s Booker and Celebrity Producer.
Nadean is a Legal Management Consultant and author. She works as an advocate for children and adoptees, with an interest in public policy and legislation. In July 2018 she filed a petition with the UN Commission on the Rights of the Child illuminating numerous Articles of the UN Convention that the Province of Ontario has violated in its treatment of illegally adopted children.
Nadean spent 44 years searching for her birth mother, challenging the current law in Ontario Canada regarding non-adoptee’s access to their birth records. To access Birth Search Resources in Ontario Canada, click here.
She is currently exploring the transformation of her memoir No Stone Unturned: A Remarkable Journey To Identity into a screenplay and is also working on a series of children’s stories about her adventures on her grandmother’s farm, as well as a story about her much-loved Aunt Roberta.
She and her husband Bill divide their time between their home in Florida and their cottage in Vermont.
