Self-sabotage — we all do it. Whether it manifests as procrastination or negative self-talk, oftentimes it’s common enemy number one in both our personal and professional lives. After all, it’s stopping us from reaching our full potential and accomplishing our goals. So it’s understandable that so many people want to turn these hindering behaviors into something more productive.
Luckily, there’s no shortage of self-help books that seek to treat self-sabotage and guide readers through stopping it in its tracks. We’ve hand-picked six guides that do exactly that, showing us that change is possible, and detailing exactly how to bring it about.
Why Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives by Joseph Burgo, Ph.D.
Many of us have found ourselves practicing bad behaviors and wondering, “why do I do that?” — sometimes even while still doing it! Bad habits are notoriously tough to break, but what makes them so stubborn? And is there any hope in actually being able to get rid of them?
Dr. Joseph Burgo has the answers. He thinks that understanding the why behind these can help clue us in on how we can best break out of these old ruts and establish new, healthier habits. He breaks down individual defense mechanisms in each chapter, explaining what leads to these behaviors and how in particular they can cause us damage. Supportive and non-judgmental, Dr. Burgo sets his readers up for success by assuring them that change is, in fact, possible.
Override: Discover Your Brain Type, Why You Do What You Do and How to Do it Better by Cowan Cowell, Ph.D. and David Kipper, Ph.D.
Okay, so you’ve figured out the why behind these behaviors. Now, what do you do about it?
Co-authors Clinical Psychologist Dr. Connell Cowan and Physician of Internal Medicine Dr. David Kipper have spent their careers studying just that. In Override, they explain that we are biologically predisposed to certain behaviors, because of our neurochemistry — our brain’s and our body’s chemical balance. Cowan and Kipper’s use of the actual science behind these behaviors is invaluable in discovering how best to counteract them. While we are biologically and psychologically predisposed to perform these behaviors, the authors argue that we can override that system if we so choose. With specific, targeted advice for each personality type — whether you tend to face issues head-on or avoid them — Cowan and Kipper guide readers through what techniques will work best for them to achieve their desired level of productivity and problem-solving.
To learn more, read our full review of Override here.
Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior by Mark Goulston, Ph.D. and Philip Goldberg
First published in 1996, it’s a classic for a reason. Get Out of Your Own Way has been inspiring readers for decades now, helping them move past their own mental roadblocks to set forward on a path for success. With 20 years as a psychiatric clinical practitioner, Dr. Mark Goulston shares the techniques that he’s seen work for his clients. The writing is clear and concise, giving readers the biggest bang for their buck on learning how these bad habits can develop and how to nip them in the bud. From procrastination and inaction to envy and guilt, 40 common self-defeating behavior are covered! There’s no doubt that whatever you’re dealing with, Dr. Goulston and Philip Goldberg have the answer.
Hello, Fears by Michelle Poler
Founder of the Hello Fears social movement, which has empowered millions of folks to step outside of their comfort zone and tap into their full potential, Michelle Poler wants to help readers confront whatever scares them on the road to meaningful happiness. While procrastination often gets the blame for our self-sabotage, a common root of that problem is fear — specifically, fear of failure. Rest assured that Polar has walked this road herself — heck, she’s confronted 100 of her own fears in 100 days!
Helping readers name, accept and embrace the roadblocks along their journey, Poler’s book is both motivational and actionable, and it’s chock-full of friendly wisdom. And if there’s one thing you don’t have to fear, it’s cracking open this book.
Discover what other books we think pair well with Hello, Fears.
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Whatever self-sabotaging habit you’re trying to handle, it’s common knowledge that positive reinforcement is a far better motivator than negative self-talk. But of course, it’s easier said than done to think of yourself in a better light. When we slip into a negative view of ourselves, we’re more likely to accept our failures and have less confidence in beating these bad habits.
Not so fast, Jen Sincero says. Her rawly funny and relatable guide is more than just a list of positive affirmations. From inspiring stories to down-to-earth and applicable advice, Sincero’s book will help readers stop self-sabotage in its tracks. If you need a kick in the pants to get your life back on track, look no further — and learn that you are badass enough to make it happen.
Read more about You Are a Badass and other similar books here.
Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower and Get Out of Your Own Way by Judy Ho, Ph.D
The title says it all! From every book we’ve discussed on this list, it’s clear that self-sabotage has firmly engrained itself into our modern culture. From doom-scrolling instead of working on an important task to dropping your New Year’s resolution by February, it’s a problem that’s pervasive throughout our daily lives. Luckily, clinical psychologist, professor and TV personality Dr. Judy Ho recognizes your self-sabotage problems — and even better, she knows the solutions. With techniques honed and perfected in therapy sessions, Dr. Judy helps readers recognize exactly what triggers their bad habits in daily life, how to modify their behavior and stay motivated to keep their goals of self-improvement. Her six actionable steps help readers stay on track to complete their goals, and feel the accomplishment that success can bring.
