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The (Crackpot) Theories You Need as We Countdown to Star Wars

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Our nerdy little hearts are thrumming like the Millennium Falcon kicking into hyper drive as we count down to Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens epic opening December 18. To share our excitement as we wait, two members of our Nerd Squad—Word Nerd and the Scarlet Pencil—have agreed to share their, um…creative…theories about the movie with you and let the rest of us get back to watching the Funny or Die Star Wars Christmas Special. While there are no true spoilers here, be forewarned. They may actually stumble upon something that could be true. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. WHERE THE HELL IS LUKE? Could anyone have possibly missed that the last Jedi has only been…

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How Han Solo Destroyed My Self-Esteem

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I’ve always had something of a tenuous relationship with Han Solo. Sure, I appreciate the quippy one-liners and sexy smirks as much as the next guy. Also, as a cat owner, I know what it’s like to have a furry beast with the mind of a toddler infect each of your waking hours with constant attention-seeking behavior and a desire for basic, animal needs. So on some level, I totally get the whole Han thing. My problem with Han has always been, chiefly, that I’m nothing like him.     See what I mean? I’ve tried throughout my entire life to be more Han-ish, but to no avail. I’ve somehow ended up looking less like Han Solo and more Stanley…

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May the Fourth be with you and Star Wars VII countdown!

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Any Star Wars fan worth her salt knows what today is – Star Wars Day. The world over, fans of George Lucas’ life-consuming series set in a galaxy far, far away have dubbed May the 4th Star Wars Day because if its aural similarity to the Jedi salutation “May the Force be with you.” Though this is not Lucasfilm sanctioned holiday, fans celebrate as if they were a part of the strike team that destroyed the Death Star’s shield generator in Return of the Jedi. This Bookish Diva remembers being mocked for reminding people for YEARS that Star Wars was supposed to be a nine-movie series, that the trilogy we loved was the middle three, and that Mr. Lucas owed…

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