Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg
Sheryl Sandberg suffered a tragic and unthinkable loss when her husband died on vacation, and just like anyone else, she had to develop coping strategies and solutions to problems in order to work through her grief, comfort her children and get back to living. Her personal story is honest, devastating and inspiring as she, along with her friend and co-writer, Adam Grant, present a lot of great information and ideas for those who have experienced a loss, also providing advice and suggestions for friends, family and coworkers on how to be supportive and understanding in Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy.
The book has expertly woven Sandberg’s personal stories with a more technical approach to grief. Based on research, Sandberg and Grant suggest recovery from a tragedy can be stunted if you tend to think what happened is your fault, if you believe the bad thing that happened will affect all areas of your life and if you think the feelings of unhappiness will never end. Once you realize none of these are true, you are better able to cope and are on the road to recovery.
They talk about the benefits of journaling to work through feelings and how to focus on the positives. Sandberg says, “Journaling helped me make sense of the past and rebuild my self-confidence to navigate the present and future. Adam suggested I write 3 things I have done well today.” They suggest that “contributions are active” and they “remind us that we can make a difference”. And the suggestion of writing down three moments of joy experienced each day helps to remember there are still good things happening.
Another area of helpful advice revolves around building resilience in children and helping them develop four core beliefs: “1) they have some control over their lives, 2) they can learn from failure, 3) they matter as human beings, and 4) they have real strengths to rely on and share.” Sheryl shares conversations with her children and although each person and situation is unique, it gives the reader ideas on how to help children process a death and cope with a painful situation.
In the wake of tragedy and loss we also learn about some possible positive repercussions. At this crucial time there is opportunity to change your thought process and dig deep. Post-traumatic growth includes “finding personal strength, gaining appreciation, forming deeper relationships, discovering more meaning in life and seeing new possibilities.”
In Option B there are plenty of great examples based on experts and research on how to face adversity head on and come out OK on the other side. Sandberg even talks about her experiences, how she made decisions about the children without her beloved partner, how humor is necessary and plays an important role in resilience and what is helpful to receive in terms of support and kind words from friends, coworkers and others.
This inspirational book is Sheryl Sandberg’s personal story along with fantastic suggestions for things to do and ways to think about life when faced with adversity. It is a book everyone should read… and can make a great gift as well.
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