Not Barstool Sports: Books to Read Before You Go off to College

Just about to begin your freshman year of college, eh? Make sure you have your shower caddy ready, your matching bed set from Target (XL Twin, for sure), and all of those Cup Noodles you’ll never end up eating because you have a meal plan.

College is easy! Just kidding, college is pretty hard, duh! However, if we were able to get through it, you probably can, too. With these books, you will have everything you need to be the big person on campus.

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The Book of Human Emotions: From Ambiguphobia to Umpty – 154 Words from Around the World for How We Feel Hardcover, Tiffany Watt Smith (Little Brown and Company, June 7, 2016)

the-book-of-human-emotions-tiffany-watt-smithYou’re about to meet a bunch of new people, some of them will be amazing, some will be annoying and others will be straight up bananas. Being able to express your feelings will be super important, both in a first-impressions kind of way and in a look-I-know-what-the-word-iktsuarpok-means kind of way.

 

 

 


Meditate your Weight: A 21-Day Retreat to Optimize Your Metabolism and Feel Great
, Tiffany Cruikshank LAc MAOM (Harmony, April 5, 2016)

meditate-your-weight-cruikshankDon’t be fooled, the “Freshman 15” is definitely a thing. Instead of helplessly digesting a bunch of tips and tricks to avoid gaining the inevitable weight of 24-hour calzone shops and deliciously greasy and bottomless dining halls, find your inner zen to combat cravings. This handy guide will help you think healthy thoughts about food, and it’s super practical! Also: come finals week, DON’T EAT YOUR FEELINGS!

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How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly’s Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life, Heather Havrilesky (Doubleday, July 12, 2016)

Somehow-to-be-a-person-in-the-world-havrileskytimes, being a human is hard. When it’s snowy outside, your bed is warm, your friends and parents are dumb, and you have leftover mac-n-cheese in the fridge, it’s hard to be anything other than a blanket burrito. However, when life seems hard and you need a little advice, this book can be your ultimate, tenderly humorous guide to sorting yourself out. P.S., some of this advice will help you post-college as well, so don’t let the rando in Shakespeare 101 borrow it without returning it!

 

 

 

 

Microwave Mug Recipes: 50 Delicious, Quick and Easy Mug Meals, Julie Hatfield (Otherworld Publishing, April 10, 2015)

microwave-mug-recipesSo, it’s the middle of the semester — not even Thanksgiving break yet — and you’re already out of points. To make matters worse, the dining hall you still have swipes for is only serving BBQ Tempeh Squares, which works for some people, but not you when all you’re craving is French Toast. Enter this handy-dandy cookbook, which lets you utilize your roommate’s microwave for something other than Ramen!

 

 

 

Misery, Stephen King (Scribner Reissue, January 2015)

misery-stephen-kingHate to break it to you, but you will have at least one horrible roommate experience in college. While one of your roommates starts a compost pile in her room, and the other abandons you mid-semester, it’ll be helpful to have a little perspective. Sure, your roommate never cleans her dishes, but at least she’s not tying you to a bed, chopping off your feet, forcing a pain killer addiction on you and compelling you to write weird romance novels for her! Remember, it could always be worse.

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