When last we left the eager movie-going public, we were looking over the cornucopia of films that will be unleashed upon nerdy audiences this year. What else does 2016 have in store? Prepare yourself, movie buffs.
Make sure you circle May 6 on your calendar. That’s the release date of Captain America: Civil War (geez, Batman fighting Superman, Cap fighting Iron Man—these superheroes have a temper, don’t they?). This movie may as well be called Avengers III, since if features pretty much the entire super-team, with the exceptions of Thor and the Hulk (who, rumor has it, will be duking it out in the upcoming Thor: Ragnarok, due in 2017).
The month will close with another big-time super-group in X-Men: Apocalypse (May 27). In this one, our favorite mutants join forces to combat Apocalypse, the world’s first mutant, and his extinction-level plans for the Earth.
On June 3, the heroes on a half-shell return to save their city in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. And gamers will be in for a treat on June 10 with the release of Warcraft, based on the popular video game series (bring your own joystick).
The Fourth of July comes early in 2016 with the June 24 release of Independence Day: Resurgence. Twenty years after blowing up the White House and the Empire State Building, the aliens are back to fight Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pulman and Judd Hirsch, but not Will Smith (I don’t like our chances). The Lord of the Jungle returns to the big screen on July 1 in The Legend of Tarzan. And on July 15, the women pick up the proton packs in Ghostbusters, starring Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones (I don’t like the ghosts’ chances).
All right. I’m going to try to stay calm about this: on July 22nd, the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise will boldly go back into theaters in Star Trek: Beyond, three years after the absolutely embarrassing bucket of dreck that was Star Trek Into Darkness (my family will warn you: do not get me started on Star Trek Into Darkness. In Hell, that movie is screened 24 hours a day, and people are forced to watch it at gunpoint).
On August 5, the Joker, Harley Quinn and a gang of bad guys will fight the good fight in Suicide Squad (which features Will Smith as Deadshot. Hey Will, we were just invaded by aliens! Where were you when we needed you?)
The fall nerd season opens on October 7, when Channing Tatum stars as the mutant Gambit (although there are rumors that this one might move to 2017). In November, Marvel’s Sorcerer Supreme hits the silver screen in Doctor Strange, starring fan favorite Benedict Cumberbatch (who was in Star Trek Into Darkness. Like I said, don’t get me started). And on November 18, we return to the wizarding world of Harry Potter (although without Harry and the gang) in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
The 2016 holiday season will bring us Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, the first of what could be more Stars Wars spin-offs than you can shake a light saber at. Another video game-inspired movie hits theaters with the December 23rd release of Assassin’s Creed (starring X-Men’s Michael Fassbender). And on the same day, the year will wrap up with Jumanji, a “re-imagining” of the 1995 Robin Williams fantasy flick.
So there it is—your 2016 year of cinematic geek. If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the theater.