From Jane Eyre to Mockingjay to Austenland: Books that Need More Sex

I should preface this by saying I’m not a pervert. Well, not much of one anyway. But sometimes you’re reading a book and you just know that a sex scene would make all the difference. Maybe the couple is getting a little too close; maybe that kissing scene is just a little too hot. The reason doesn’t even matter really—you just pray that the characters will start to go to town.

And if you’re lucky, they do. But there are times when your fave couple just chastely kisses or walks away, letting all that delicious sexual chemistry go to waste. For those of us who are a little more, um, in need of that great love scene, here are five books that could desperately use more sex:

The Host by Stephenie Meyer (Little, Brown & Co.; 2011)

The_HostI guess I can’t expect a lot of juicy action from a conservative Mormon author, but it doesn’t mean I’m still not looking for it. At least there was sex—even if it was of the cutting-to-the-window variety—in Twilight. But The Host is Meyer’s foray into grown-up fiction, which means it could have used a little grown up action as well. It is an apocalyptic scenario—earth has been invaded by an invasive alien species who use human bodies as their hosts. But it’s also an insanely romantic one—because of her love for Jared, Melanie’s spirit refuses to leave her body. So she’s stuck sharing it with “Wanda,” the host of her body. Even without all the body swapping, Jared and Melanie were basically living together for a while. But do we see them go at it? No. Time for a little confusing alien love, Meyer.


Mockingjay
by Suzanne Collins (Scholastic Press, 2010)

mockingjay-coverI’m a huge fan of the entire Hunger Games trilogy and the love story at the heart of it. Team Peeta all the way. And, fine, the focus isn’t really on making out when Katniss and Peeta are too busy fighting for their lives in increasingly horrific situations. But that’s exactly why we need more sex. To relieve all that tension. By the end of the series – SPOILER ALERT – Peeta is a brainwashed mess, Katniss has insane PTSD, and the two of them sort of limp together through the rest of their lives. Clearly, they do it at some point. But would it have killed Collins to let us see just a little bit of that action?

 

 

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (Smith, Elder & Co.; 1847)

jane-eyre-charlotte-bronte-coverJane Eyre might be the original wealthy-boss-meets-timid-employee romance, where the boss is kind of a jerk and the girl still reluctantly falls in love with him. It’s like an infinitely better Fifty Shades of Grey, but with less bondage scarves and more mad-wives hidden in the attic. Still, the heat it there through all of their encounters—Rochester is an ass, Jane stands up for herself, and the two of them practically sizzle in this centuries-old novel. You can just imagine him throwing her up against the nearest imposing stone castle wall. Ahem. Plus poor Jane could definitely use some loving after everything Rochester puts her through.

 

 

Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins (Dutton Books for Young Readers, 2010)

anna-and-the-french-kiss-shannon-halePerkins is no stranger to a sex scene—just check out the sweet and modestly age-appropriate moment in Isla and the Happily Ever After. But I want a sex scene for Anna and St. Clair too, who spend most of the book loving each other from afar and burning up the pages with their secret feelings. St. Clair has a girlfriend—though it’s clear that he prefers Anna—and she’s falling hard even as she revels in the beauty of her new Paris boarding school. They definitely have some steamy kisses, but I would not object to a little more Parisian loving.

 

 

Austenland by Shannon Hale (Bloomsbury USA, 2007)

austenland-shannon-hale-coverIt’s bad enough that there’s no sex in Pride and Prejudice or any of Jane Austen’s other novels. But thanks to books like Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife, by Linda Berdoll, we don’t have to imagine what it would be like for Darcy and Elizabeth to finally get it on (hint: it’s very, very hot). Which is why I want a tribute novel like Austenland to bring the heat in a way Austen’s repressed Victorian sensibilities couldn’t. But no, this chick-lit about a super fan who goes on a Jane Austen-themed getaway is surprisingly chaste. Don’t expect any bodice ripping to go down in this English manor—though a girl can always dream.

 

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