There must be some sort of plot afoot to get people like me to watch WWE’s SummerSlam. I am not a wrestling fan, even if one or two inhabit my house on occasion. But when a certain offspring showed me dreamy Arrow star Stephen Amell responding heroically after being attacked by cosplay reject Stardust on Monday Night RAW, I was intrigued.

Then the WWE raised the stakes when it was announced that Jon Stewart would host SummerSlam. My comedic idol with my superhero dreamboat? OK, you’ve got my attention. But if you really want me to watch, here are five things I’d love to see at SummerSlam, which airs on Sunday, August 23.

Bring in Arrow star David Ramsey as Amell’s corner man.

They’re partners on Arrow and one of the better bromances in the world of superheroes (Ramsey plays John Diggle). Two hunks for the price of one would definitely get my–and many other people’s–attention.

Have John Oliver do color commentary—on Stewart’s hosting.

Forget commentary on the match; let’s have John Oliver stop in and comment on Stewart’s ability as host. No one makes fun of his former boss better than Oliver.

The Black Canary takes out Stephanie McMahon.

McMahon is the annoyingly smug Chief Brand Officer of the WWE. Why not take a page out of Amell’s book and have Arrow’s Black Canary Katie Cassidy take her on? Or even White Canary Caity Lotz. I’m not fussy.

Author interview with retired WWE superstar Mick Foley.

Sure, Foley’s last book was a year ago, but he’s a prolific New York Times best-selling author, and who does author interviews better than Stewart? The two are buddies and while they’re at it, maybe Mick could explain in detail his recent rant about the lack of respect for women wrestlers.

Stewart finishes off Donald Trump with Rey Mysterio’s 619 combination.

This one was suggested by a wrestling fan who shared his dream confrontation: Jon Stewart taking down Donald Trump using the moves of wrestling great Rey Mysterio. It would be an opportunity to avenge short guys (Rey Mysterio shares Stewart’s vertical stature) and show old wighead just what Mexican-Americans can do. Alas, Stewart seems to pull muscles just getting up from his desk.

Here’s Jon Stewart confronting WWE Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins in a previous encounter:

Now if only someone could figure out how to fuse Jon Stewart with Stephen Amell, we’d have the perfect man. In the meantime, I might just take a peek at SummerSlam.


Recommended reading:

Mick Foley memoir coverCountdown to Lockdown: A Hardcore Journal by Mick Foley (Grand Central Publishing, 2014)

Mick Foley, a wrestling legend and New York Times bestselling author, returns with more stories of the wrestling ring. Foley, whose writing ability almost approaches his athletic skill, (no ghost writer involved) details his return to the ring after retirement and famous Lockdown match with his most formidable opponent. He also discusses his tumultuous relationship with WWE founder Vince McMahon, the use of steroids in wrestling and his charitable work in Sierra Leone.